I am blaming this post on a sinus infection and antibiotics, and it is years of blog posts rolled into one and current events. As I said, I blame the meds…
I have been battling a cold that turned into a major sinus infection for the last couple of weeks. It would not be a huge deal, except I never get sick and the best joke of it is I had plans for this weekend. I do not always have plans or get sick, but you can bet I will have both at the same time and have to cancel.
Except, I tried everything in my might not to let that happen.
Steam baths, sinus meds, cold meds, more vitamins I have ever taken in my life, zinc, warm compresses, two trips to urgent care, and the list goes on. I was motivated not to have to cancel my plans.
Anyone who reads this blogs knows I lost someone incredibly dear to me last year. He was the most remarkable witness for Christ in my life, and I am not sure anyone has ever or will ever have such an impact on me as he did. He had the most incredible faith I’ve ever seen and only spoke scripture, creating almost an impossible standard for living. After praying for his healing, only being taken from this earth felt like the most unfair thing, especially after God said I’d see a miracle. The miracle happened through my barren friend who had a baby, and God restored one thing in my life after the other rapid-fire style the rest of the year. I couldn’t have made up anything that has happened thus far, including the plans for this weekend.
You see, since this is my blog and the few people who read it seem like close friends, you have the advantage of knowing a secret: I have a gentleman friend. It isn’t just any gentleman, but someone who seems to be someone I completely made up in my head who happens to have a voice and a face.
My nervous breakdown manifested through signing up for a dating website and how we met. We both signed up questioning our lives and felt compelled to talk to each other, and that has been since late September. He had plans to visit this weekend, and while I tried with all my might to be well, it just didn’t happen for whatever reason. However, it revealed characters showing how encouraging this person is in the face of disappointment. I am glad to know there will only be one of us throwing flames at a time while the other says, “Maybe you shouldn’t throw that. It’s going to be ok.”
Early this year, I wrote a post about having a meltdown over chicken soup because while my entire life was in flames, it was going to be controlled by making a pot of soup… which did not happen. Flash forward to now when I’ve been putting off buying soup from a restaurant for almost a year because I could not rationalize the purchase. There was no good enough reason to treat myself to a bowl of soup. However, given the week I’ve had and being sick seemed valid enough to spend money. I told my friend, “I’m getting the soup,” with no details or where I would get it from. A few minutes later, I got a text stating an order under his name would be ready after I got off work, asking if I could pick it up for him as he would not be able to get it (since he lived in another state).
“Is this a joke???”
And that’s when I started crying, and I have been emotional about this since. I am not sure why and he has questioned it as well. But it IS a big deal and only proves he is an actual person and not wholly made up in my head. He knows about this blog, and I will send him this post because he has repeatedly joked/questioned about being part of one. “That is a good story”… although this is probably different than the type of post he expected. He was looking forward to one like the Handlebar Mustache monsoon/bus adventure disaster date.
My life has only been better since meeting this person, and I am so thankful for getting to be friends with them. To some, it may be a bowl of soup, but it is much more significant to me for it’s one of the kindest, most thoughtful gestures anyone has ever done for me. It is not about the soup, but it is also about the soup.
I’m sharing a song I listened to for the first time this morning. Lindsey Stirling is an amazing violinist and wrote a song for a friend she lost from cancer. She shared the video on Tik Tok as a duet thing for others to write lyrics to. Mako took the challenge, and now they have a song I purchased this morning and cannot stop listening to. All I could think of was my friend who died and how much God has done rebuilding and restoring all that was lost in the last year. He would have loved to hear all about my God stories and see Him work in my life. He would have been so excited about all of them saying, “Praise God”. At the end of my blog, I will share the song, but first to prove my friend/soup was real…
“I wish I could remember every second we had
I know I tried to count ’em all
One by one, one by one
But you don’t get ’em back, you don’t get ’em back
Take every memory we’ve ever had, oh
I wanna live ’em all
One by one, one by one
And I swear that I’m not gonna lose you now, I’ll
Keep you in my life somehow, and
Even when the lights go down, down
I could never lose you now
And even though we’re not so close here
Maybe you could pick me out still
‘Cause I can’t stop falling down
I can’t stop falling down
And I’m not gonna lose you now
I’m not gonna lose you now
Oh, I can still remember all the lessons you gave me
I hope that I can live ’em all
One by one, one by one
Don’t you go looking back, there’s no looking back
And I don’t mean to open every picture I saved, yeah
I’m only tryna visit with you
One by one, one by one
And I swear that I’m not gonna lose you now, I
Need you in my life somehow, and
Even when the lights go down, down
I could never lose you now
Even though we’re not so close here
Maybe you could pick me out still
‘Cause I can’t stop falling down
I can’t stop falling down
And I’m not gonna lose you
Even when I’m falling down
I’m not gonna lose you now
‘Cause I can’t stop falling down
I can’t stop falling down
I’ll keep you in my life somehow
And even when the lights go down
I’m not gonna lose you now”
Beloved Oath of God 