The Dr. said <1%… but, God…

Every week I wonder what God will show me and if I will write about it. I only write if something is in my heart, and most posts take very little time because God cleans my heart out. Sometimes, I will start writing about one thing, struggling to find words, and it ends up getting restarted into something entirely different.

Today’s blog post is a remarkable one of despair, heartbreak, hope, and triumph. It’s a typical “but, God” journey. This post is a miraculous story of a friend of mine that has been years in the making. I started it Wednesday, July 8, but cannot publish it until after Friday, July 10, and you’ll soon find out why. 

I asked permission to share while promising not to say any personal details as she is very private. Her response was, “Sure. Any way to give God the glory”.

We met in 2014, and I got saved at the end of that year. She always called me ‘Sister’ and at first blew me away (I never mentioned it) because I felt so unworthy. She said she always just thought I was her sister in Christ, not knowing the struggles I faced. I’ve known her for 6 years now, and she has been a blessing to me and someone God has used to bring me to Him since the beginning. Another thing to know is we are ten years apart in age and have lived significantly different lives with opposite personalities. Our common links are being introverts and loving Jesus.

When I was totally lost and searching, He used her to lead me back to Him.

One time I brought her a cookie, and she was overjoyed and said, “The Lord provides for His children in the smallest of ways”. I did not know at the time, but she had been thinking of a cookie. She didn’t want to spend the money on or need the cookie. I remember thinking, “it’s just a cookie?”, but kept those words in my heart. It was such a tiny moment, but so significant. A few years later, that situation would happen to me, and the person who gave me the cookie was so confused over my excitement. It wasn’t just a cookie. It was a tiny sample of God’s provision for the smallest details of our lives. He knows our desires and what we need before we even ask, and in His way and His time, He gifts them.

Over time I watched her pray for a husband and a baby. She was “older” so in the world’s eyes, time was running out.

She will be married five years this year, and I was blessed to attend the wedding in 2015. I remember when I saw her engagement photo on Facebook, I was screaming and crying. She told me once she had a vision of her life, and God would give her a family. Now that she had a husband, the next thing was a baby. The odds were stacked against her due to her age and other circumstances…

But, God.

“For the vision is yet for an appointed time, but at the end it shall speak, and not lie: though it tarry, wait for it; because it will surely come, it will not tarry.”

– Habakkuk 2:3

Since she was my Christian friend and someone God used in my life, I never understood why she worried about her age. God was faithful in everything I watched unfold in His time and His way.

One morning she told me her Doctor informed her there was less than 1% chance she would ever have a baby. All the things she tried over the years failed, and every door for adoption or any other option was slammed shut.

I watched all of this while praying for my future husband. I’ll never forget when she told me what the Doctor said but added she was not standing on that opinion. Her God was bigger than what science says. Without thinking at all, and what just matter of factly flew out of my mouth, was “Your kid is going to be in my wedding”. Her response was a smile, and “It takes a lot of faith to say something like that”.

A couple of years passed. I am still single, and she is still waiting for a baby. I sometimes pray and wonder, ‘God, why would I say something like that??! Please let that have been You and not me.’

“So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it.” – Isaiah 55:11

I would never intentionally say anything so bold about something I had no idea what would happen. I don’t know what God has in store for MY life, much less someone else’s. I knew she was struggling, frustrated, and waiting, so why would I say something like that? But, I never once had regret. I also never brought up a baby to her except that day. There’s nothing you can say. Just pray and trust for God’s will.

She could tell you everything about Hannah, Sarah, and Rachel. She knew every story in the Bible that had to do with infertility or waiting for a baby.

I remember another morning, out of nowhere, I started weeping and said I didn’t know why God won’t answer her prayer or why He was waiting. I don’t know what will happen, but I am just sorry she had to go through it. She quietly sat there and responded, “We rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep”.

Many changes took place over the last few years, yet no changes took place at all. God doesn’t look at the outward appearance but instead looks at our hearts. He uses our desires to draw us close to Him. He uses that longing to learn to trust Him and know HE is all we need. He is our desire. He shapes us into HIS image, and as a Christian, that is the only thing we should want in this life. He chips ‘us’ away until all that is left is Him. Where else could we go (John 6)? He uses waiting seasons for His purpose, and He knows why He has us wait. He is molding us into His character, and sometimes it is not about us. As Christians, we have surrendered our life and plans and are willing vessels. Everything He does is for our good, and He could be using us as an example to someone else to show what it looks like to trust Him and believe in His faithfulness. The Christian life is not about being happy. There are no promises in the Bible about bad things not happening when we give up our lives to follow Christ. His Word promises the opposite and that we should rejoice in trials and persecutions, for we learn patience and how to endure. The testing of our faith is more precious than gold.

Now and then, the thought would cross my mind, and I would say, “God, you know if it were You who said her child would be in my wedding, that means she has to go first. There’s an order of things…”. You know, just in case He forgot.

Time is ticking.

Flash forward to a few months ago. Quarantine happened. There’s a pandemic. I lost someone very close and important to me. That, someone, was the strongest believer I ever met, and we prayed for healing. His healing was not here, and it only exposed so many things my faith was shaky on.

“I believe You said I would see a miracle. Where are You now?”

My heart was a mess.

But, God.

I got a phone call from her one day in June … nothing out of the ordinary … and she said “I have to send you something.” The phone acted up and we had to hang so she could send it.

I remember thinking “if this isn’t what I think it is I won’t be able to talk to her due to A-fib ”. My heart started beating out of control.

“…And suddenly.”

A picture came up.

It was an ultrasound picture. It was her ultrasound picture.

My hands were shaking violently, and my heart was beating as if I was running sprints. My phone was ringing, and I couldn’t figure out how to answer it. When I finally did answer, we stayed on the phone for 39 minutes. I don’t remember all that was said, but I know I was screaming, crying, and passing out the whole time. She was content and calm and could be.

“Hope deferred maketh the heart sick: but when the desire cometh, it is a tree of life.” – Proverbs 13:12

I said, “I have to tell somebody!!!” and ran inside the house. The apparent look on my face brought concern as nobody knew what was happening. “SHE SENT ME AN ULTRASOUND PICTURE!!! SHE’S GOING TO HAVE A BABY!!!!!”

It was supposed to be a secret. The words didn’t leave the house. Haha

On the phone, we just kept matter-of-factly stating, “God is so good. He is so good.”

I reminded her of the morning I was crying and said, “that day you quoted weep with those who weep and rejoice with those who rejoice… Today we are going to rejoice!!!” (She said I won most excited as of then. )

I am still very single with no potential prospects, but the day after that special and unforgettable phone call wrote the speech for my wedding. Not knowing yet if the miracle baby is a flower girl or ring bearer, it didn’t matter because God’s provision was the key.

(I let my dad read it. He responded that maybe by the day of my wedding, my speech would be condensed and include how God provided my husband. If you read this blog or know me, you will already know that if we are at my wedding, God OBVIOUSLY provided my husband!)

About a month later, that is to the present day, I have the honor of baking the gender reveal cake. This means I have the privilege of knowing FIRST what gender this miracle from God is. Since I cannot tell anyone a word, I filmed myself reading the lab work to shout out the gender and have my own party.

The only thing my friend asked was if I share this story, “God gets all the glory.”

As for the gender?

”Wow, a boy. I can’t believe it so happy. …I’m going to be a boy mom.”

The baby is going to be my future ring bearer.

God provided her Isaac.

It’s a boy.

“He is way-maker, miracle worker, promise keeper, the light in the darkness.

My God, that is Who You are.”

“But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.” – Isaiah 40:31

Love, Aimee